Why do I serve?

Lately, I feel like I need to ask myself, why do I feel compelled to serve the Lord? And I sit here in this cafe watching this man worshiping something with incense and closed eyes, I feel even more compelled to continue in the work that God has called me to do, but I feel like I need to understand these people and that's why I'm here.

I need to clarify what I'm doing here in Taiwan, because I've been constantly asked,"How's teaching?" when I'm not here to teach.

I'm here to learn Chinese, to know it well enough for people to think I'm from Taiwan, to be able to express my feelings, and me to understand them when they do. I'm here to understand the Taiwanese people, to understand why they feel so compelled to burn "spirit money" outside or to wave incense in front of a statue. I want to know what it is they treasure the most, and show them that there's something better.

I do have a student, but that's to supplement my income.

So, back to the question, why do I serve? I'm beginning to see that some people just make up different ministries without really thinking how this ministry would benefit the public or a vision of how this ministry could be used by God. They just open it bc other churches have it, or it sounds great, and they want to have in their church as well. But without a clear vision, a clear calling, it's not going to work. you can have the man power, the gifts, or even the praises of other men, but without God's blessing, how could it possibly work?

I'm beginning to see that there's a line between going forward in something with courage, and stupidity. as long as you have God's calling and faith that He'll provide everything, that's going forward with courage. stupidity is when you go with it when it feels right, but don't have God's blessing or calling. The thing is, when people nowadays base so many decisions on their emotions, it's hard to distinguish whether this "high feeling" is God's calling or the result of something you ate 30 minutes ago. This is where we come before the Throne of God. Where we say, "God, I don't know if this is from you or the result of what i ate 30 minutes ago, but guide me. Show me what it is you want." This is when we read the Word like we should everyday. This is when we allow the Lord to speak to us.

I have a clear calling, that's why I do what I should do. And that's why I don't do what I could do. I could stay in Dallas, but God's called me here. God gave me this burden for this country to truly know Christ. I could serve at DCBC with the choir and youth group and do other stuff that I've been known to be gifted in and have been praised for, but God's told me to come here away from it all.

I'm here simply because I'm called. I try to live everyday under God's graceful guidance to see the needs here.

I do miss it in Dallas. Even as I am trying to find a new church now, I am all the more wanting the sort of fellowship I had among my brothers and sisters in Texas. A church with great preaching and gifted members who seek to follow and imitate Jesus Christ. It's hard to find here, I have to admit. I haven't been to a church that's anything like the ones in the States. I know there's never such thing as a perfect church, but each one I've attended have been lacking in something that I find to be KEY to any God-loving church.

So, I guess a prayer need for me is to find a church but to also be gracious to the flaws of that church God has called me to wherever that may be. And to catch a better glimpse of the work that He has for me here.